Contrary to popular belief, 20/20 vision does not mean perfect vision. 20/20 refers to clarity or sharpness of vision. We can have great clarity while falling far short of perfection.

The events and experiences of 2020 have undoubtedly changed everyone’s viewpoints to varying degrees. We see the world differently now. In other words, on a scale from 1 to 10, it’s likely that the value of importance placed on various areas of our lives has shifted.

My vision has certainly been altered this year, and I share here some of my thoughts regarding 2020’s 20/20 vision.

Family prevails. Family has always been important to me, but missing an event was never a big deal. In fact, I didn’t attend the 2019 Thanksgiving or Christmas gathering. In each case, when the holiday arrived, I was both sick and exhausted. Not a problem. There are always more holidays, and I could see everyone when the next one rolled around. Needless to say, that didn’t work out quite as I envisioned. No big family gatherings were possible this year, and so I very much look forward to spending time with my loved ones again en masse as soon as it is safe to do so. My 20/20 on family is to never again take for granted or toss aside opportunities to be with them.

Pets are crucial. I wondered how my cats would react to my presence 24/7. Would I be an infringement on their quiet time? The answer was no, and they have been my constant companions. I have had ample time to observe their antics, and they play and run about throughout the day more than I expected. Of course, this also means I have more time to witness their destructive behavior of furniture scratching. In those moments, as the irritation and frustration rise within me, I often let them know with raised voice exactly how I feel about their actions. When all is said and done, though, 20/20 insight clarifies that their love and companionship are two things that help me through every day, especially in the most difficult of times.

Friendship is a two-way street. This year highlighted the need for prioritization. Who was safe enough to be in your ‘bubble’ or ‘pod’ and who wasn’t? With whom were you willing to get together, and were you inside or outdoors, masked or unmasked, six feet apart or less? I entered no bubbles. There were friends I met outside while masked, and others with whom I shared a coffee while separated by the width of a deck or a firepit. Interactions with others were relegated to phone calls, texts, emails, and maybe a Zoom or two. Some decisions about getting together were easy, others more difficult, and the outcomes likely correlated to the choices that were made. There are connections that rekindled, some that deepened into more solid friendships, and others that have waned. Some of those choices were mine while others were not. I wasn’t always at my best and certainly could have put forth more effort at maintaining these relationships. It will be interesting to see how friendships evolve once again as we move forward into 2021 and are at some point free to gather at will. My 20/20 reminder is that friendships are delicate, and require attention in order to survive and thrive.

Coworkers are just coworkers. Most of my career was spent in office environments. When I opened my own healing business, the daily interaction of office life disappeared. I missed that aspect of working, but didn’t miss the office politics one little bit. To supplement income, I have also been a substitute special education paraeducator.  From September 2019 through March 13, 2020, I subbed consistently, multiple days every week, in the same set of classrooms. I enjoyed being a part of something once again, and considered the people with whom I spent my days to be friends. The transition to virtual learning brought my subbing days to an abrupt end. And the physical separation quickly expanded to a silencing of communication from all but one of those coworkers. There’s no blame being assessed or, if there is, it falls on me just as much as anyone. The experience was a reminder of lessons previously learned but forgotten. Lifelong friends might be made on the job but, more often than not, we lose touch with coworkers as soon as the experience of shared employment has ceased. The 20/20 here is to maintain perspective regarding work relationships rather than view them as more than they actually are.

I have too much stuff. This year my mother relocated to an assisted living facility. My sisters and I were responsible for sorting through a lifetime of acquisitions. As anyone who’s already been through this knows, it’s overwhelming. Returning home from one of those difficult days, I began looking around. My place is uncluttered, and fairly Zen in appearance and atmosphere. But that doesn’t mean it’s sparse. I performed a closer inspection. Do I really need a dozen vases or the antique artwork that have been tucked away in the cupboard for years? What about those cookbooks, china and silver that I’m never again going to use? You get the idea. I have slowly been identifying items that might bring pleasure to someone else while freeing up – literally and figuratively – my space. 20/20 insight is that possessions can be weighty, and shedding the excess can be extremely cathartic.

Solitude wears thin. I’m an extrovert and enjoy time with others, but have always required time by myself. I currently live alone … except for the previously mentioned cats, of course. Solo living has its benefits as well as its detriments. I generally enjoy and appreciate the peace and the quiet. Yet without the busyness, without the distraction of events, without the warmth of family and friends, I deeply felt the essence of aloneness, and the lack of a romantic partner. I missed having another well-suited soul in residence. But living alone prior to the pandemic was in its own way good training for pandemic-induced self-isolation. Others have said that adjusting to the solitude has been extremely difficult, but I’m conditioned to and comfortable with spending time by myself. That said, there are limits to just how much time I want to spend alone. 2020 has given me 20/20 vision that solitude is most beneficial in moderation, and it’s imperative to maintain balance in this area of my life.

2020 was certainly an eye-opener. It brought clarity and many insights. I have grown and have hopefully become a better person for it. But rest assured, I will continue to work on that 20/20 vision.